


blue is so cold.

by teaswt



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dark Past, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Everyone Is Gay, Flashbacks, Gay Male Character, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Drug Use, Past Rape/Non-con, Pill popping, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Tears, Tissue Warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 10:21:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17640965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaswt/pseuds/teaswt
Summary: Bokuto Koutarou is your average college 2nd year: he's lively, adores space and owls, and is exceptionally good at volleyball. But no one is truly the same outside and inside. Deep down, Bokuto deals with a number of mental issues that all stem from the need to please the people around him as well as make them the happiest they can be. Only when he's forced into a support group for his depression does he meet someone who just might turn his entire world around. This someone's eyes are a beautiful green and blue concoction.Blue isn't beautiful, in this someone's world. Blue made him feel cold, and blue marked the end of what could've truly been beautiful.





	1. viewer discretion is advised.

**Author's Note:**

> this story has mentions of suicide and other mental illnesses or triggers. 
> 
> i will put a trigger warning for each chapter that involves something that is possibly triggering, even if it's small. 
> 
> i will put a character description after this warning page so you can get a feel for some of the characters ( the mains ).

yeah another story i probably won't finish.

oh well this is bokuto x akaashi (bokuaka)

this has some japanese ( book title, chapters, some dialouge ) use google translate bc i'm not translating :)

 

**WARNINGS** :

this is a book with mentions of suicide if you're not a fan, leave

take this book seriously, suicide is not a fun topic but it's the only thing I can really relate to.

this is probably my more realistic book since i don't want to rush things like i normally do.

the types of things that will go down: self-harm ( cutting mostly ), overdosing ( attempted ), LBGQT+ ( obviously ), noncon, aaand that should be it.

 

i'll put warnings in the chapters that have all the triggers.

read with caution, seriously, this isn't for the faint of heart.

i will be posting this story on wattpad as well.

 

my account is @/ gentleowl

happy reading y'all


	2. character descriptions.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is simply a page containing the backgrounds of each character ( the mains ). i do this so you all can get a feel for the characters and better understand the things that some of them might be going through. 
> 
> this book is a slow burn, after all, and i'm making it easy to refer back to this specific page if you ever forget the illnesses or past things that some of the characters endure(ed). 
> 
> there are two main characters and two side mains. but that doesn't mean other characters can't play a big role too ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this is helpful and brings a better understanding for each of the characters and their problems/backstories

  * **Akaashi Keiji** : Akaashi is an eighteen-year-old first year at the University of Tokyo (UT). He majors in psychology, figuring that he can help people get over their difficulties and find better outlets and routes in their lives--he's a complete hypocrite. Akaashi's parents are homophobic and dislike his choices (his major and his desire to continue volleyball). They pressure him--beguiling his grades, brushing off his athletic accomplishments, and consistently scrutinizing gays in front of him (granted, they don't know about his sexuality). Keiji suffers from depression, anxiety, and a minor eating disorder. He's severely suicidal and is planning his death every second of every day. He plans on vanishing by the end of the year, specifically after his nineteenth birthday: December 5th. 



 

  * **Sexuality:** demisexual (mainly toward men) 
  * **Likes** : birds (owls and finches), cats, books, sweatshirts, guys (duh), blankets, katsudon, tea, volleyball, hugs (for comfort), sleep, cuddling, mountains, beach, the sky
  * **Dislikes** : oranges, loud sounds, crowds, waking up, school, wool clothing or blankets, short sleeves, cheese, gritty textures, oatmeal, coffee
  * **Personality** : he's generally calm and humble, analyzing most everything about his surroundings primarily during his time on the volleyball court. He has a rash furor, but only certain things and people can make him snap, which also means he's moderately emotional. He's remarkably caring, though he expresses it in a more placid fashion and doesn't show his affections with facial features--he's usually impassive. _**When he's depressed, he tends to shut down completely and give up**_



* * *

 

  * **Bokuto Koutarou** : Bokuto is a nineteen-year-old second year at the University of Tokyo. He majors in communications and is on his way to the professional level for volleyball. He relishes talking to people and delivering inspirational talks to boost up people's psyches. Bokuto's father disappeared when he was a child, despite that, his mother is remarkably caring and supportive over everything Bokuto does. He suffers from mild to moderate depression and anxiety due to him essentially driving himself to satisfy others and make them happy--he doesn't feel like he's good enough or doing enough despite everyone's deep love and support. 



 

  * **Sexuality** : gay
  * **Likes** : owls, manga, volleyball, guys, shorts, pools/beaches, sashimi, lemonade, hugs, sex, cuddles, kisses, praise, seeing people smile and laugh
  * **Dislikes** : gossip, crying, frowns, school, books, whales, tea, pineapples, sandals
  * **Personality** : he's extremely energetic and obnoxious, linking much to a child in a way, though he's only got a childish mind and is truly very knowledgeable. He's super sweet and won't stop hugging you until you smile, making him the most caring person ever. He's inspirational, he unconditionally loves boosting people's spirits and getting people fired up and beaming. Just about anything can cause his mood to swing up or down (just bipolar). He's sensual, but he can't help it. He's just a disaster. **_When he's depressed, he hides behind a smile_**
  * * * *

**Kuroo Tetsurou** : Kuroo is a nineteen-year-old second year at the University of Tokyo. He majors in biology due to his deep devotion for animals and plants. Kuroo is an orphan and has been since he was a baby (his parents were too young and not ready for a child), but he has amazing foster parents who love and support him. He suffers from severe anxiety and unrelenting panic attacks--they're due to his obscurity to the reason why his actual parents deserted him.



 

  * **Sexuality** : bisexual (he leans a little closer to men)
  * **Likes** : cats, dogs, lizards, sweatpants, books, volleyball, pork buns, nuzzles, kisses, sex, lakes, guys/girls
  * **Dislikes** : kiwi, crowds, mother's/father's day, his birthday, school, wine, his hair up, liars
  * **Personality** : he's a sinister idiot. He's an actual fucking disaster. How can someone be smart and dumb?? He's super caring and gentle, tending to smother the hell out of you until you start smiling. He's an actual mind reader; you can't lie to him, so that also makes him extremely stubborn. _**When he's depressed, he breaks down crying**_
  * * * *

**Kenma Kozume** : Kenma is an eighteen-year-old first year at the University of Tokyo. He minors in psychology because he believes that he can help people (largely teenagers) come out of their shells--he's still learning to come out of his own shell. He majors in computer science, specifically video game designing since he has a deep passion for video games of all sorts. He knows nothing about his parents other than the fact he was taken away from them because of child molestation--he currently lives with his grandmother who does unquestionably everything she can to make him smile. He suffers from anxiety and bipolar disorder because of his cheerless childhood. 



 

  * **Sexuality** : demisexual
  * **Likes** : cats, birds (parakeets), blankets, sweats, chocolate, tea, fuzzy socks, volleyball, video games, ramen, sleep, kisses, cuddles
  * **Dislikes** : crowds, loudness, beaches/pools, hiking, lemons, alcohol, vegetables, dogs, Lev, crying
  * **Personality** : he's extremely quiet, almost shy, even. He's the other mind reader, he can tell what you're thinking before you even think about it. Just like Akaashi, he has a quick temper and gets annoyed pretty easily. But he's so soft and acts exactly like how a cat does (he literally purrs, don't ask). **_When he's depressed, he locks himself in his room_**



 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255


End file.
